


Stand by me

by Tamira189



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Bella Crawford - Freeform, Bella has died, Cancer, F/M, Jack Crawford - Freeform, Jack is lost in his memory, Poor Jack, Rocker, Sad, Snow, Winter, hallucination, inspired by a song, lonely, mental scars, photoalbum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamira189/pseuds/Tamira189
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella knew, she would not be able to fight her disease and Jack gave her the strength she needed to continue the fight. But she died not long after and left the agent with a hole in his heart. Something was missing from that moment on...</p><p>One late night, Jack sits in his rocker with a candle lit in loving memories of Bella and flips through their common photoalbum to let old memories conjure up again...</p><p>(Disclaimer: I do not own Hannibal)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stand by me

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy my dear readers!  
> Inspired by Ludovico Einaudi's  
> "White Night".

Lonely silence has become his constant companion, since Bella passed away. She never gave up the fight, but the twinkle in her eyes was a sign, that she soon would stare death in the face. She was weak,  
the cancer afflicted her and gnawed away at her strength. 

Jack has accompanied her on that painful path. Soothed her with gentle kisses and then held her hand to give her inner peace. She tried to accept, that she couldn't win that battle. She knew, that her days were numbered and her last hour has come. Bella could almost hear the clock's ticking. 

Nothing could have hampered her death. Not even the chemotherapy had been any help for her. But those final golden hours...these moments would be deeply anchored in Jack's memory forever. As well as their very first encounter. 

Bella, Bella...how much emotion there was in his words...how much love. That love has still been as fresh as on the first day they met. 

"Bella...", Jack whispered into the emptiness of the faintly illuminated room, as a small tear ran down his cheek. Merely a single candle in loving memory of Bella burned as lonesomely as the flame in Jack's heart. He might have rough exterior, but even he was fragile. A loved one's death also hurt his soul. That ultimacy...when gazes meet one last time, before the loved one slowly closes his eyes for his eternal sleep. Bella's death has still been a gash in Jack's life. 

Outside in the cold even heaven cried icy tears, which were only visible as snowflakes for humanity. Maybe it even was Bella, watching Jack being so sad and crying with him. It was late at night, but Jack was way too troubled to go to sleep. From now on, the second half of the bed was empty forever. Merely the sheer scent of Bella's favorite perfume still sticked on her bedding. Jack hasn't removed it yet. The mental scars were still too fresh. He needed something he could cling to...something, where some of the good, old times were still present. 

Jack has been sitting in his rocker for a couple of hours and skimmed in their common photo album. It was a flight of fancy, but with a bitter aftertaste. It let the wonderful memories flourish like flowers in spring. But in the next moment they were razed to the ground again. 

Jack carefully caressed Bella's face, as he found a picture of the two of them in their first common holiday in Italy. She used to be so happy and full with vitality. Every evening Bella placed a peck on his cheek in return for having had a heavenly day. She kept up that ritual until the day she died. A slight smile flashed over Jack's face and he had the feeling, that his wife sat right besides him, stroking his hand as gently as he did the photo. It felt so real...

Jack sighed sadly and pursed his lips. He turned his gaze to look at his hand, from where he felt the caressing. 

A hand...Bella's hand...

It hit him like a lightening strike. He felt an icecold twitch in his chest and how his heart skipped a beat. With his mouth opened in disbelief he lifted up his eyes and met Bella's worried gaze. Her head was inclined and her eyes shone watery. 

"Jack...my god...Jack..."  
She shook her head slightly in that position and fought with the tears. Like she did with her illness...

"Why...why did you let me go? You let the cancer win! You didn't even care about me!"

Jack was so speechless, he didn't know what to do nor what to answer to those allegations. He helplessly searched the floor, trying to find an answer. Bella's face has become stained with tears by now and the pained look on her face enormously extortet Jack. 

Then he cupped his wife's face with both of his hands and tried to vainly calm her down. But she continued blaming him and cried on. 

Finally Jack sealed Bella's lips with a kiss, to keep her mouth shut. He couldn't bear those awful words any longer. 

But...he didn't feel any opposition. No soft lips...no pretty face...Bella seemed to have vanished at instant. All Jack still saw were his hands, he held parallel in the air. But no sign of his beloved Bella. The confusion was written in his face. 

The woman, he has just seen...that was not the one, he fell in love with so long ago. 

What Jack saw, were his compunctions, that plagued him to this day...


End file.
